I was just down at the post office on South U. and I noticed that there were a lot of police officers and detectives roaming around. Cute Punk Boy at the post office said that there was a jumper this morning. They didn't have any of the details. It was a little disturbing doing business while a dead body might be just outside the door. There was a clear view of the area they were working... a fence was around the point of impact.
A couple thoughts went through my mind. If I were to commit sucide I wouldn't jump... for one how do you know you will do the job right? You could end up paralyzed instead of dead. Also, I would have to think of the people who might see me fall or find my body. I wouldn't want to torment anyone that way. Why would I want them to have nightmares about what they saw. When I was at my most depressed in high school and had many suicidal thoughts I always tried to figure the impact on others. And death by pills seemed much easier on everyone, me included. Obviously I got over that stage of my life and I no longer entertain thoughts of dying. I just have to wonder what would put jumping as the way to go. I just can't figure it out. Maybe I am not supposed to. And this post may seem harsh, but i am just perplexed.
Got most of my house cleaned... except for my closet. That needs it's own weekend.
Made jewelry. (Trying to use up some of my beads.)
Pulled books to sell. Still have to go through more shelves.
Took photos of jewlery to put up online.
Saw the AfterWords crew for dinner last night.
So, I made a dent in my list from Friday. I think it is a good start. I sold my second photo on Etsy. (Alms was my first!) Today I went and got a post office box so the whole world doesn't have my address. Now I just need to get business cards and mailing lables. I am starting to feel productive.
I don't know if it was being sick, seeing the psychic Satruday or just the time of year it is, but I feel like I need to shake things up. And for me that is normally noting too big, since I usually shimmey more than shake when I get to feeling this way. I guess I feel stuck. I am not thinking of moving or getting a new job or anything of that nature. And I know how lucky I am to be where I am at, but I need something different. I am getting dizzy from going around in circles.
So what am I doing? Or what have I done? Good questions... and of course I have a list.
Purge more stuff from the house. I mean serious purging.
Just uploading some pictures today.. while getting my regular work done too. I have some oldies here. I hope the sun comes out enough so I can go take some photos this weekend. I am getting antsy.
k
So, my ick from Monday was a horrible stomach flu type illness. I found out today that several people who were at the same house I was on Saturday evening were also sick. So in the last 2 days all I have had to eat is about 20 crackers, some wonton soup (minus wontons), a pancake and some Gatorade. I am starting to feel human again.
Throwing up is not fun, but it makes me think of a story Gary (aka Verlaine) tells about his mom saying "You may vomit, you may hurl, you may even blow chunks, but you do not puke in this house."
On that note I am going to go back to trying to prop myself up.
k
I had a long post about movies, but it got eaten by blogspot... well, actually my clumsy self lost it. I don't quite feel up to recrating it at this point. Just being lazy.
Update on my Target film processing saga. I stopped in my local Target to order a few prints. Karen, who always looks like she has just sucked on a lemon, was working and asked if I got her message. I told her I had, but that I had found another Target that would do it cheaper. And that I didn't understand why I had to pay for 1 hr developing if that isn't what I asked for. She just looked at me and made no response. Now, I hadn't found another Target to do process the film for the lower price until last night, but she just annoyed me so much that I wanted to say that I had. And after her reaction I will not order any prints from her store. So they just lost themselves hundreds of dollars a year.
On a creative note I am making coasters using images from the album covers. I am so thrifty! I will try and get some pictures soon. The coasters are still in the trial phase and I have roped a few friends in to trying them out for me to see if they hold up. I am very excited about them. I think that I will have a large number of them for Art Fair and Etsy. And my photos on Etsy have gotten quite a bit of attention. (Thanks Alms for being my first customer!)
I talked to Steve, my old boss at AfterWords, and he said they had put the sign up. And that a lot of people had told him how much the store had meant to their family. It makes me feel good. They have been my family for almsot 10 years. When my Grandma died unexpectedly and I had to go to Florida for the funeral Steve cut my check early and loaned me $100 and told me they didn't want me to be short of cash andto pay it back when I could. You don't get that at corporate stores. They also payed their employees a lot more than most big stores did and also gave us a kick ass discount. They were much more forgiving of their employees' quirks as well. My stomach is not so queasy now, which is a good thing. Thanks to everyone who commented on my earlier post about being sad for the closing of a store you might never have been to.
k
Was out sick yesterday. Spent most of the day sleeping. Though I did manage to get my Christmas tree out to the garage. I took it down over two weeks ago, but didn't have the energy to get it outside. I feel better now that it is out of sight. I also did the dishes which were quite numerous, which is funny since I don't really cook. Oh, and wonder of all wonders I located my kitchen table which was buried under serveral weeks of junkmail.
Before I got ready this morning I called the weather line to see what the temprature was going to be. They said flurries most of the morning, but no accumulation. I opened my blinds and thought it was a little bright out for 6:30 am... well, there was snow on the ground. Luckily everyone was driving slowly and the ride in to work wasn't too bad.
I am currently trying to stay awake at my desk. I shouldn't be tired after getting as much sleep as I did yesterday. One plus is that the bags under my eyes are much smaller.
k
I am hoping I can get through this post without crying. A week ago I heard that Afterwords was closing. In my head I thought that it was going to be June, but I found out last night it is more like it is going to be by the end of January. I dealt much better when it was far off and I had time to process the whole thing. Now I feel like the rug has been pulled out. For almost 10 years these people have been my family. Both good and bad. Last night most of us got together and had a pre closing wake for the store. We talked about our favorite customers and the ones we loathed. And the vast assortment of people we worked with. It was a much needed cleansing of the spirit. Sad and funny at the same time.
I am so glad I don't work there anymore because I don't know that I could refrain from going off on the vultures who try to get bigger discounts because we are closing. The ones who have never been in our store and don't know what it means to those of us who embraced it's quirks. The other difficulty is the ones that say how awful it is that the store is closing, but you know that they never shopped at the store. Hey, maybe if you shopped here we wouldn't be closing. Ever think of that?
I had someone tell me that the stock didn't seem as full the last few weeks... well, here is my answer to that.
1) You came after Christmas... so of course the stock was depleted, duh.
2) Book publishers publish fewer copies of books because a change in tax law that effects their backlist. So, fewer books to remainder which means that stores like Afterwords have fewer books to choose from. We went from having 15 remainder compaines to buy from to having 3... and really only 1 of those was worth anything.
3) Stores like Borders and Barnes and Noble started doing major bargin book business and could afford to out bid us on skids of books. (Which is where most of the profit is.)
4) Many publishers now just pulp the books instead of sell them to remainder stores.
So, after 27 years a wonderful store run by wonderful people has to close. My coworkers are out of a job in a time and area where it isn't easy to find a comparable replacement. My bosses treated us like family, you don't get that in coporate America.
I got through this without crying... I just got mad. Maybe I should have a bake sale to raise the bail money I will probably need.
k
Okay, here the link to the site where I am listing my photos. I am going to have to buy some more mats before I put too many more up. It is worth a shot anyway. And it is pretty reasonable... so I am only out $.10 a listing if they don't sell. Let me know what you think.
On an entirely different topic I have been hitting the winter clearance racks the last few days. Most of what I have purchased has been boldly patterned, which is unusual for me. I usually go for boldly colored solids. But this year my eyes seem to be drawn to patterns. Oh and bonus that because of my breast reduction I can buy shirts with buttons!! Couldn't do that before.
I found a new site I would like to use to try and sell photos. So here are my questions
1) Do you prefer matted or unmatted photos? 2) What size print would be most appealing to you? 3) What prices would be reasonable? Both for matted and unmatted photos.
I am a firm believer in if you have a complaint for a store you need to let the store know or you can't really complain. So, here is the story of my saga with Target photo lab. For the last several years I have taken my photos to Ritz Camera, and I love them. Unfortunately they are kind of expensive and I am very broke so when I got back from San Francisco with my 13 rolls of film I needed to find a new place to have my film processed. I don't get prints of my film and only want them developed to disc. This is where the problem starts. I had taken film in twice when the woman working the photo lab told me her boss left a note saying they couldn't develop only to disc. She would do one last set because she didn't understand why they couldn't do this. So, I wrote Target asking why this was. I get a letter back saying that they are looking into the matter and will get back to me. Their final response was that it was up to the individual store as to whether or not that they would process only to disc. So, back to the Jackson store I go and ask Karen, the supervisor of the desk. She gives me a run around about how they don't get ranking for selling only to disc... that they get ranked for film packages. Now, as a customer I really don't see why ranking should matter. Why I can't get a service their equipment is able to do. So, she says she will ask her boss and takes my number. A week later I hadn't heard so I go back in and talk to someone else who was much more helpful. She tells me she closes with the manager in charge of the photos lab the next night and will talk to him for me and that he should get in touch with me on Saturday night. Well, yesterday Karen finally gets back to me and tells me that they will develope only to disc, but that the cost will be $3.99 for the disc and then the cost for premium one hour photo developing $4.99. Making my total $9 with tax. Before I paid for the disc and next day developing which totalled was $5.15. I don't understand why I have to be charged for one hour if I don't want one hour. I have no problem paying a processing fee, but I might try a Target here in Ann Arbor and maybe I will have better luck. One of the perks of using Target is that they are affilliated with Yahoo and Flickr and I can easily order prints off of Flickr. I just don't get why they had to be so difficult about a service that should be offered.
Had dinner with Lynne , Gary and all his family Saturday night. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.
Tried a new experiment with vinyl, but ended up with a piece in my nostril. When a record shatters it really shatters. Luckily I was able to remove the shard and didn't have to embarass myself by going to the emergancy room. No blood was shed.
Bought a 50 lb bag of kitty litter... it was marked "EZ CARRY", which made me think that nothing that is 50 lbs is really that easy to carry.
Watched 2 people almost fall, when I got closer to where they did the windmill dance I noticed a sheet of paper that had frozen, the rest of the sidewalk was clear, so I stepped around it. Behind me someone else did the windmill dance. I smiled.
Saw a 4 year old singing the"My hump" song by the Blackeyed peas in Target. She also had a little dance for it. Made me laugh.
Found a possible website I could sell my photos at, but I have to look at it a little more carefully to see if it is what I want. I had to give up on my own website for awhile.
Made yummy turtle candies last night... the square pretzles, rollos melted in the oven, topped with a pecan or cashew.
Still working on my more positive attitude for 2006... it is going to be a hard journey. People keep reminding me why I haven't liked them.
"A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men."Roald Dahl
Happy New Year! I took a little break from blogging and feel quite rejuvinated. I visited with family for Christmas, but didn't allow any stress to enter in to it. We have scaled way back our holiday obligations. After years of juggling multiple celebrations we have spent the last 4 years at home and going to visit on the 26th or 27th. That way we can eat and nap on our own schedule, not on anyone elses.
My Aunt Mary gave me almost 100 lps when we were visiting family. I have lots of ideas rolling around in my head for various ways to use the vinyl and the covers. I just have to set myself down and experiment. My cousins want to give me my Aunt Tricia's records, but she has a hard time parting with anything... even if she isn't using it. They may sneak me some if they can get them past her eagle eye.
So, I will just say that is life is good right now. Hope it is for everyone else.